TRAVELLING with your family can be a very different experience to travelling pre-kids, writes Brit in Bosnia.
Many countries are far more family orientated than the UK, which can make having children with you an absolute joy. Cultures which may have appeared more closed become alive when they see children and the possibilities to see a very different side of the country you are visiting are boundless.
Family orientated cultures tend to be far more welcoming of children across the board. Children are expected and welcomed into most arenas of life. A wedding would never occur with ‘no kids please’ invites.
People tend to look upon children with affection and want to engage with them, even during their own supper.
A family will go places together, do things together and you won’t be the only ones with your kids in tow.
That said, a family orientated culture is not the same thing as a child centred culture. Activities specifically geared for children may be few and far between. As much as adults are expected to engage with children, so the children are expected to engage with the adults.
Having lived with our two little boys in a family orientated culture for a little while now, I’ve come up with a few tips for getting the most out of a visit to a country where the family is the centre stage.
1. It can be very relaxing. We’ve been out to dinner and found that the waiters have swooped upon the kids and played with them up and down the restaurant, allowing us a relative degree of peace in which to eat our supper. This is particularly true of eating outside where people really don’t mind children exploring between the tables during their meals.
2. People are often very keen to see the kids. We’ve been invited to coffee in private houses almost everywhere we go. Usually they don’t actually want to speak with us, but to play with the boys. Although these coffees can sometimes be uncomfortable for us, particularly with a shaky grasp of the language, we’ve learnt that we should always go. With children present there is always something to talk about, even in sign language.
3. People will offer your children chocolate and sweets. Work out in advance how you are going to deal with this, particularly as they are unlikely to understand your reluctance to not let your children have any more chocolate. Personally if the chocolate offerings become excessive we tend to let the boys have it and then leave for an outdoors area where they can race off their excessive sugar intake in relative harmony.
4. As friendly as everyone is towards children, there are often places where they are not welcome. Police stations, customs posts, areas of officialdom. Be prepared to be surprised at the lack of friendliness towards kids at interfaces with authorities.
5. As family centred cultures tend to lack in child specific activities, finding things to do with your children may be more difficult than you were expecting. Playgrounds may be few and far between for example. We found that with a bit of lateral thinking playground can be replaced with activities such as travelling on trams and finding a local monument to climb over and the like.
6. Watch to see what everyone else is doing. When do the children come out to play? What are the adults doing? If it is hot during the day people are unlikely to be out and about until the early evening. Their rhythm of life will be the one best adapted to the environment, try to adapt to it.
7. Don’t be rigid in your own routine; it may well be not appropriate for the different environment you find yourself in. Your children may go to bed at 7.30pm at home, but that may be the best time for them to be playing outside here. It is best to be open to flexibility.
8. Many countries with this type of cultures do not have the same attitude to health and safety that you are used to. Playgrounds may not be maintained with rusty nails sadly evident. Children may well be playing in the street. Be aware and be vigilant and make sure that your children are too. It isn’t all bad news though, my children have been given rides in diggers and train engines as people are not so fussed about children getting close and climbing over an ancient fort is a lot more fun when there aren’t ropes blocking off all the interesting bits.
9. Don’t be surprised when other, elder children, come to talk to yours. They have learnt from a young age to be responsible for younger kids, they are usually genuinely being responsible for the younger ones in the group. Obviously, you need to be aware of what is happening, but be aware too that it is normal in many cultures to have children looking out for other children, even if they barely know them.
Travelling in different cultures can be immensely rewarding, especially with children. Ultimately, with the acceptance things are not quite how you might expect them to be and the acknowledgement of the need to be flexible, you will find that family friendly cultures offer much for families with young children.
See also: I'm sorry, does my children's presence offend you? for views on how parents' experiences closer to home are a little bit different!
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