Should children wear anything on the beach?

Update: See a recent piece from The New York Times on this very subject here and read what Babyccino blogger Michela and her commenters have to say, here.

YET again this blog is taking its inspiration from Joanne Mallon at Parentdish.

Joanne asked ‘Do you let your children go nude?

It made me think – especially when it comes to at the seaside.

My daughters are 10. For them, of course, it’s out of the question.

But when I think back to when they were tiny, their little bottoms could be seen sometimes, quite rarely if I’m honest, waggling away in the sand or sea.

My mum hated this. She couldn’t wait to tell me: “Get some clothes on them. Quick!” 

The following quote from a ‘child development expert’  in a Babyworld feature from 2006, which debated the hot topic (see what I did there?) of itsy bitsy bikinis for little girls also gave me food for thought:

(It’s quoting Dr Janine Spencer from Brunel University.)

There have always been people who try to sexualise children but it is our job to protect them,” she said. “And this doesn’t just mean avoiding sexy swimwear. I would also advise against letting your child run around naked on a crowded beach. While this is a completely innocent act, and innocently done, you just can’t tell who’s watching them.”

So, what do you think, should our children be covering up these days because we don’t know who’s watching or is that a step too far?

If they love running around on the beach in the nuddy should they be allowed?

Or is it, perhaps, inconsiderate to other beach lovers? What if they are embarrassed or feel uncomfortable at the display of a child’s flesh?

Go on, tell us what you think in the comments!

Thanks to Nixdminx for highlighting our dicussion in a canter through the blogosphere at the latest carnival of parenting posts.

No related posts.

Categories UK

  • http://www.twitter.com/BeckyDMBR Becky via Twitter

    Depends on where you are. I don’t think my Norwegian niece & nephews even had bathing suits as babies.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    Does that mean they would cover up in the UK?

  • http://www.twitter.com/BeckyDMBR Becky

    Don’t know!

  • http://www.facebook.com Penny via Facebook

    a trciky one these days and i hate myself for saying it but i dont think so no.

  • http://www.littlemummy.com Littlemummy

    I would always put Erin in a swimsuit, but I don’t mind if other parents choose otherwise.
    Perhaps it depends on the busyness, if you can find a secluded spot then perhaps you could let them go free without worrying who’s watching.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    Yes I think a secluded spot is very different – but even when it’s not secluded is the greater fear we have of ‘who’s watching’ these days justified do you think?

  • http://allthatcomeswithit.com Dan

    No. Not because of the threat of pedophiles; as this is exceptionally small. But because it will probably make other people, especially men, uncomfortable because they will worry that if they accidentally look at the kid other people will accuse them of being a pedophile.
    We live in a age of hysteria about these things unfortunately.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    Bloody hell Dan, that’s quite a thought isn’t it, thanks for making us think even more.

  • http://bringingupcharlie.blogspot.com/ Tim Atkinson

    It’s someone elses problem if they’re looking, surely? We’re far, far too buttoned-up about the whole thing in this county. Which is why we’ve got such hang-ups (and, incidentally, Page 3 of the Sun, too!)

  • http://www.journobiz.com Evey

    I’m not a parent but somehow feel responsible for all the kids on the planet (“banished children of Eve”, like it’s actually my fault we’re not all in Eden). The other week, I was at college (it’s at London Bridge) and we went to the river for lunch. A bunch of kids were running naked through the fountains while the parents seemed engrossed in their own conversation.
    Part of me thinks, “How lovely that kids can play like that” but a stronger part is really concerned about their safety and, personally, if I had kids, I would not want them appearing so vulnerable in the middle of London.
    I think the beach is different (though the fountains on that day had a beachy vibe) but don’t know how parents walk that line between keeping kids safe while not making them anxious about possible danger everywhere and taking away that innocence themselves…

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kim

    Why shouldn’t small kids run around naked? What insanity. And so what if paedophiles are watching them? What difference does it make?
    I’m beginning to feel like the Daily Mail every day but this really is something – political correctness or elf ‘n’ safety, I dunno – gone mad.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Judy

    I insist my kids (aged 4 and 2) wear pants in the park, on the beach etc. I can’t even tell you why – it just doesn’t feel right to me to have kids naked in a public place. Last week in the park about a dozen kids stripped off for no particular reason but I noticed all the mums insisted on them keeping pants on. I also think it’s more hygienic!
    Mind you it’s totally different in private – the week before we went to a friend’s and the five kids had a naked trampolining session. Totally hilarious.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Jo

    I wonder if we could just switch off our brains and take a totally laissez-faire attitude to these kind of parenting issues? ‘I’m not going to worry about Swine Flu, I’m not going to worry about my kid being naked in public, I’m not going to worry about whether he is speaking/reading/meeting whatever target.’ Would the world be a nicer place for both parents and kids?

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kavitha

    Perhaps I am being thick here, but I really can’t understand the paedophile issue and am totally on Kim’s side. So what if paedophiles are watching them? I mean surely if they want to get their jollies there’s plenty of child porn on the net. And presumably they are more likely to grab fully clothed unaccompanied kids than naked accompanied ones? I am more concerned about the kids who walk to school alone and so forth.
    That said, I don’t let my kids go unclothed because, as Judy said, it doesn’t feel right somehow. I don’t care if other people do, though.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    I think a lot of people do that anyway up to a point but the ‘paranoia’ of modern parents makes good copy!
    I’ve not been overconcerned by any of the things listed – I’ve always been pretty laid back particularly when it comes to so-called ‘development’ and have been heard to mutter very often ‘it’s not a race’ and to other parents ‘it’s not a competition. I wrote about that here:
    http://www.havealovelytime.com/2009/…ctivities.html
    I think having two kids at the same time and seeing how different they were, but equally loved, took away some of that worry. My only real parenting ‘issues’ are that my children should be loved and healthy.
    But seeing the strength of feeling expressed by other parents/reading what other parents have to say on that sort of stuff is fascinating to me nevertheless, as I say perhaps I should get out more. x

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    I do understand the paedophile worry – the thought of someone getting any sort of sexual pleasure from seeing naked kids on a beach is alarming. I remember watching a police TV programme once and an officer said they had looked at CCTV footage taken on a sea front in connection with a missing child inquiry and quoted the number of convicted child sex offenders spotted on the prom – I can’t remember what case it was, when or where it was or how many there were (great, I know!) but it really did make me stop and think.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kavitha

    Well, yes, these people are out there, but how are you going to tell them apart from everyone else? I mean, most paedophiles are no dodgier looking than anyone else, are they? The Soham killer, for instance ( forget his name) In India, for instance, public spaces are very limited and homes are tiny, so there are lots of lone, odd-looking people in parks staring at children simply because they have no place else to go or nothing else to do. Some of them might be paedophiles, most aren’t, but how can I possibly tell?

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    I think that’s the crux of it for people – you can’t tell and for some, because of heightened awareness/paranoia/media attention, whatever you want to call it, it has become an ‘issue’ they are choosing to avoid by making sure their kids aren’t naked.
    Eve has just reminded me that when we were on holiday in Tenerife a couple of years ago, there was a man by himself taking pics round by the pool. A group of holiday makers complained about him – I felt sorry for him and very uneasy with myself for entertaining the idea that there may be something ‘dodgy’ about his interest in so many shots with kids splashing about.

  • http://englishmum.com English Mum

    I think generally my two lads have always had little swimming shorts, but there’s always the odd moment they were getting changed or whatever when they were allowed to be nudies.
    This reminds me that we had a gorgeous photo of our two taken by a professional photographer when they were little (remember this was the eighties, people)- our oldest was about three and in a little pair of white pants and our youngest just a baby, in the nude, and they were cuddling each other and rolling around laughing. We loved the photo but Hubby’s mother was horrified and wouldn’t have a copy. I didn’t see the issue, personally. I’ve still got a copy now if anyone would like one (joke).

  • http://englishmum.com English Mum

    Oops, of course I mean nineties, not eighties

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    Oh my God Becky I was so doing the sums then! That’ll be fun to get out when the girlfriends come for tea…

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kavitha

    Some of the paranoia has filtered down here too. My daughter has just learnt to swim after many years of struggling, but I am not allowed to take pictures of her at the pool. Personally, now that the Taliban are apparently close to getting their hands on Pakistani nuclear bombs, I am more concerned about my kids perishing in a nuclear holocaust than meeting a paedophile

  • http://www.journobiz.com Jo

    You can’t tell and therein lies the rub. I meant, though, is that while I would want A to be able to frolic in the buff, if there was something I didn’t feel comfortable about going on I wouldn’t hesitate to pick her up and dress her and get her out of there.
    And, going back to my post before, I wish we could just not worry, but it’s our job isn’t it. I suppose the trick is finding the spot between vigilance and paranoia.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Evey

    I remember reading a sad story about Marilyn Monroe – apparently, she desperately wanted to be a mother. Apparently, she took to sitting in a children’s playground looking longingly at the kids and mothers. They recognised her and felt sad for her and respected her privacy and didn’t make a big deal about her being a lone adult at a children’s playground.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Becky

    This reminds me of a story a male friend told me recently, that he was sitting on a park bench watching some children play, thinking some very innocent dreamy thought (he’s a bit of a romantic) about how lovely the sound of children’s laughter is. Now this guy is, I am sure, most definitely not a paedophile, but a couple of mums started giving him very dirty looks and ushering their children away. He was mortified. You’re right – there is no way of knowing. It’s such a pity we’re all so paranoid though (and I include myself in that category)…

  • http://www.facebook.com Marie via Facebook

    Is it a case that we only hear more about it now due to regarlations and press. When I was a kid it was the norm to see kids playing naked on the beach. It doesnt mean that there are more Pedo’s today than 30 odd years ago its just that it has changed the innocent minds of adults too.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Sq

    I used to strip my daughter off to shower at the swimming pool but as she’s got bigger I prefer she keeps her cozzie on her bum. (It’s an open shower.) Often she just strips off completely anyway and although I feel a bit funny about it I don’t react because I want her to maintain her innocence and body confidence. Outdoors in public I tend to cover her up, more because she’s fair skinned and its easier than smothering her in sun cream, but I would let her run around topless if she really wanted to. At the beach or somewhere else with water, probably not at the park. And I wouldn’t stress about her changing in front of people – brief nudity. In the end you can’t stress about the what ifs or your kids would have no freedom at all. And her UVA sun suit is fairly snug so if someone really wanted to get their jollies I’m sure they could anyway. I don’t want the world to be ruined for her thinking evil is lurking at every corner. And I think it’s incredibly sad that her grandad feels he can’t comfortably watch her or her cousin’s swimming lesson for fear of ‘what other people think’.

  • http://www.jobeaufoix.com Jo Beaufoix

    I am a bit funny about this. I always keep my kids bottom halves covered up. I just feel that they’re so small and vulnerable, and you never know who has cameras etc. At home it’s a different story. We’re all quite comfortable being naked in front of each other at bath times etc, and occasionally M (4) will strip off if it’s hot and her eczema is bothering her, but otherwise I prefer them to be covered up, just in case.

  • http://englishmum.com English Mum

    Aw that’s terrible, Becky – what a shame. I have to say here in Ireland everyone is terrifically laid back about everything kid related – the kids go off on their own swimming in the lough, play in the village ’til goodness knows what time and are always around random people’s houses…
    Mind you, maybe that’s because they’ve gone through the whole Catholic Priest episode and know that the danger lies elsewhere…

  • http://www.journobiz.com Lucy

    Personally, I think kids running around naked in public places are a lot safer now than they would have been 50 years ago, when if a bloke did something unpleasant with you you’d have got a clip round the ear for telling stories about the nice man and that would have been the end of it.
    These days any blokes having a quiet sit in a park on their own get filthy looks from paranoid mothers. While, of course, the majority of child abusers continue to abuse family members, at home, where nobody can see them. This is clearly far less important than the infinitely small possibility of Some Paedo Looking at Your Kids.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kim

    Lucy is so right. At some point in the past 30 years we’ve gone from a situation where sexual abuse of children was largely ignored, under-reported, swept under the carpet etc to one where we have a full-scale paranoia about it. Not sure when the balance tipped, exactly, but some point in the mid-1980s would be my guess.

  • http://www.journobiz.com Kim

    The famous News of the world paedophile name and shame campaign was in 2000. But the Cleveland sex abuse investigation was way back in 1987, and I think there was already a reasonable amount of paranoia around by then.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

    Thank you everyone for commenting. I can see all points of view here – not the traditional stance of a blogger some would say, I’m sure.

  • http://www.havealovelytime.com/camilla Camilla

    I don’t let my children run around in public in the nude for the same reason that I don’t chose to myself either.
    Having said, they’ve run off into the garden completely starkers a few times.

  • Kms123

    There is nothing wrong with kids of any age being nude, as long as they are comfortable with it. Insisting that kids are never nude because their bodies are shameful or “dirty” is what sexualizes them in the first place. Assuming there is no physical threat or camera, how is a child or anyone else harmed in any way by someone looking at them? No child, clothed or not, has ever been harmed by “dirty thoughts”, not that you can read minds anyway. Is Europe full of pedophiles just because they are more open-minded about nudity?

  • Bart

    “There have always been people who try to sexualise children but it is our job to protect them,” she said. “And this doesn’t just mean avoiding sexy swimwear. I would also advise against letting your child run around naked on a crowded beach. While this is a completely innocent act, and innocently done, you just can’t tell who’s watching them.”
    In my opinion, avoiding a completely innocent act innocently done, is sexualising children (albeit with good intentions?)
    You can tell who is watching them, the responsible parent or minder is watching them, as far as who else is watching them perhaps other people the majority of whom are seeing nothing but an innocent act innocently done and as far as what some weirdo might be seeing, there’s a reason we call them weirdo’s. Who knows what a weirdo is seeing when a weirdo is watching anything, some people can be turned on by the weirdest and least sexual of things, as long as your children are safe under your protection it really does not matter what may or may not be going through the head of someone you don’t know and aren’t with.
    It seems to me that in our efforts to protect our children we may be doing them more harm than good, by treating them as if they are sexual beings when they are not.

  • Jason Yates

    I don’t see any problem with it as long as you’re keeping an eye of your kids. As long as you can see them and get to them if there is a problem, then I don’t think it matters. They’re young and unashamed. Why should they be taught their bodies are a bad thing? Pedophiles are out there, but who’s to say they’re going to be where you are? And who’s to say the pedophile is going to do anything but go home and think about what he/she saw? (Gross thought, I know.) When I was young, I was allowed to go nude at the beach and in a few parks and nothing happened to me. My brother and sister still go nude. No one seems to mind.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HE3DZJODDY2D2WUANHYW6RGZVU David Band

    Ok – here’s my take on the issue. I’m a 39 year old single male from the UK and about a year ago I was on an English sandy beach where a family with 2 little girls aged around 18 & 32 months were playing very nearby. The parents helped the toddlers strip completely then let them play in the sand within their watching distance. In essence, I’m not against parents who let their young children play in the nude on the beach but I did feel a little awkward and uncomfortable being able to see them in their naked state. I think the only reason I felt uncomfortable was not due to their nakedness per se, but knowing that I was a single male near naked children and the paranoia which surrounds paedophilia in this day and age.
    Now there’s been a big increase in occasions where CRB checking is needed if adults carry out activities involving children which can be a good and a not-so-good thing. I’m all for child protection and agree that paedophiles need to be deterred and for parents and children to feel safe. Some CRB checks i.m.o. go too far sometimes – for instance, I’ve heard you need one just for opening-up a church hall which may hold children’s activities, I feel that this and other futile examples goes a bit beyond common sense. There are no CRB checks for single adults (for males mainly) if they decide to visit a public beach frequented by families. I actually feel this would be a good idea and I for one would be happy to undergo a full CRB check prior to visiting a beach but here is my idea:-
    The adult must undergo a full CRB check which would be valid for 2 years. If the check passes the adult should be issued with a laminated CRB check ID card which states your full name, date of birth and CRB check reference no. This card would need to be worn on a visible part of clothing (as a statutory law) when frequenting a beach but would also be valid for any other activity which would otherwise require such a check.
    I think that by wearing this CRB badge it would help put parents at ease with their children on the beach and it would also make me feel at ease as I would know that the parents would be able to see my badge and be reassured that I’ve been CRB checked. Also, say for instance I was to act in an improper manor like taking photographs of the 18 & 32 month girls while playing naked; it would be far easier for the parents to report me by using the information on the badge.
    All in all this method will ultimately protect children, the innocent and deter paedophiles from visiting beaches making them a lot safer places for all.

    David