Down with party bags! (New category: Get the party started)

HERE's a rare picture of my daughters, Emily and Melissa, dressed the same, writes Linda Jones.

They're pictured at what I think was their fifth birthday party – I honestly can't believe they even had identical cakes!

Nor can I believe that every now and again when I'm ferreting in the back of a drawer I'll come across some bit of plastic tat (a toy whistle, a pencil sharpener, something to do with glitter…) that appears to have lingered much, much longer than a bad smell.

The lovely Joanne over at Parentdish loves party bags, but, like Deb in her comments, Bah humbug – that's what I say!

What's the point of party bags? We all know the days of going home with a slice of cake wrapped up in a piece of serviette/napkin/kitchen paper* are long gone. But when did it become such a competitive sport?

I haven't given out party bags since Emily and Melissa were two years old.

I don't think that's tight.

Instead, I make a donation to charity and let the children at the party know that's what we've done.

It may not be as fun as some people like to think a party bag is but I don't think it hurts to remind a bunch of children lucky enough to have just partied hard for the last couple of hours that there's more to life than a plastic whistle and various other bits of tat and most likely, something to do with glitter.

*Depends how posh you are.

What do you think? Are party bags a waste of effort, space and money? What alternatives would you suggest? Why not tell us in the comments?

Let kids be kids…it’s not a competition! (New category: Children’s activities)

http://www.BookofRubbishIdeas.co.uk Tracey Smith

I have to say, I think the whole party bag thing is utterly ridiculous!
As a mother of 3 (almost 9, 10 and 11) I know ‘how it is’ mate – the lay of the land can be treacherous…not least marred by the machine gun nests of viperous parents who nudge you ever closer to bancrupcy, but hey, you’ll ‘fit in’….
Well I’ve never done the ‘fit in’ thing, so let’s rebel together.
I recently penned a book on Rubbish and the devastating effects its having on not just our landscape, but our pockets and psyche too.
The party bag is simply a plastic clad bundle of crud and you might as well cut the middle-man out and tip it straight onto your garden…where it will sit and fester…slowly…it will probably not break down or biodegrade in your entire lifetime…but remember, the kids we’re enriched by its presence…weren’t they?
I’m not suggesting you do a bah humbug, on the contrary, you can have a great kids party and give them things (including memories) to take home with them that they can eat and enjoy after the event.
Give the kids gingerbread men to decorate, or chocolate truffles to make and roll in coconut. They can make origami boxes from the wrapping paper to take their munchies home too….I could go on, but have a slow ascent up email mountain to consider….
Just a few random thoughts and I hope they’ve helped you pluck up the courage to be the first mum in your circle to say, ‘ENOUGH: NO MORE’…!
Remember, the more money you spend, the more time you have to be out there earning it and the less time you get to spend with the ones you love…
My philosophy all round.
Give a positive embrace to living with less and everyone benefits.
TS x
http://www.singleparentdad.blogspot.com SingleParentDad

They are daft, but I also see them as my opportunity to get my own back for the crap inflicted on us. So, lots of easily breakable rubbish, water pistols (loaded), pure e-number compounds, things that get sticky the minute they come into contact with a human being, shrapnel and a fire breathing kit.
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

Hi Tracy – thanks for commenting – yeah too much plastic is baaad. I did wonder about the environmental impact. I decided to say no more to party bags a few years back and haven’t regretted it.
Hi Ian – a cunning plan! Think of the damage an out of date packet of Haribo or three could do – ouch.
http://exmoorjane.blogspot.com Jane Alexander

Hate the tripe you get in them….when james was small I used to have a theme and got carried away with my own creativity (I blush to think of it, actually!)….But at later parties, I would get a job lot of good books from The Book People and give one (carefully selected) to each child along with a piece of cake.
I admire people like you, Linda, who just Say No – but I’m too much of a coward. Oh, and I add e numbers too (cos I’m mean like that!)
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

Hi Jane – but I spoil the kids rotten at the party! Plus the last couple of years we’ve gone to Blackpool and avoided parties altogether – and just had a quick afternoon at the cinema instead after that with a couple of mates. Next time, I will be forcing ‘em on to the Grand National and the Big One…
Katrina

I think it’s all too easy to look through the eyes of an adult and forget what it’s like to be a child. Whilst not all children have the same likes/dislikes it’s a whole different world to where we are when we mature and experience the world.
I’ve felt the same. Can’t stand plastic pap and I don’t allow my children to eat lollies or highly suspect multi-coloured, sugary unknowns. Thing is I’m at the age where it’s good to be nostalgic and remember growing up when 10p bought you a bag of sweets, 20p, a lucky bag full of said pap and was able to cycle down the shops and purchase explosives for my toy gun or watch the big kids in awe as they ran stones over the length of gun caps and made sparks and bangs.
Silly little things mean a lot to children…..look at the cardboard box scenario, kids love the box whilst the toys are tossed aside. Whilst I wouldn’t fill party bags full of crud is there any harm in a little bit every now and again…..there are a lot bigger crimes towards the environment.
Donating to charity is great but who is it you’re doing it for? The majority of younger children don’t understand the needs of starving children in far away countries or what it’s like to be ‘starving’ as opposed to missing lunch or tea being an hour late. I think from a child’s view to be told that ‘we would’ve given you party bags but we donated money to a charity of our choice’ wouldn’t really compute unless you could give them some experience of said charity?
Don’t get me wrong I think it’s a great idea but maybe in the vein of taking a couple of friends to the cinema and donating the remainder you would’ve spent of a party to charity, everybody’s happy. Otherwise it’s like saying here is the birthday cake but I’m sending it to the starving children in a far away village…..does that make sense. It also depends on age as to level of understanding whereas an 11 year old is more likely to want a cinema trip, they also have a better grasp of things going on in the world around them whilst 5 year olds want to be children, wrapped up in their fantasy worlds and lively imaginations.
I’ve probably explained myself all wrong but hopefully the point is understandable?
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

Hi Katrina, thanks for commenting – I totally take your point – but if a load of kids have already had a lovely party, cake, bits and bobs as prizes, entertainment even, personally I don’t think a bag of tat at the end of it adds that much!
Katrina

My kids love party bags, they love the bits of tat that has me rolling my eyes when they bring it home and excitedly pull it out of the bag which is why my attitude has changed. I understand what you’re saying but I was the kid that rarely won pass the parcel or musical chairs so can empathise how great a party bag can be. It’s also something for the child to take away from the party from a memory point of view. We have memory boxes for the children and it contains some bits of tat already. I guess it’s that warm, nostalgic feeling you get when you look back. I wish my Mum had gotten me a memory box…..goodness knows what tat it would be full of but at least I’d have done my bit for the environment without even trying
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

I think we may have been unlucky with the party bags we’ve got (does that make sense?!)The ones we liked best were when the mums had gone to the trouble of taking a pic and writing a thank you on it! It’s lovely to see them excited and happy but I have also been to parties where it has just got ridiculous – where the stuff in the party bags looks like it cost more than the presents
Anyway, it’s great to see you commenting, thank you! I hope you can check out the rest of the site and see what you think of some of the questions asked:)
Katrina

I think it depends on personal preference…and maybe we were unlucky in the bags that we got In all seriousness I have scoured the internet at times looking for party ideas and have been astonished at items considered ‘party favours’ and the cost especially when you think there will be 20/30 children to provide for.
I love the idea of pics and thank yous. Again simple ideas and so much more appreciated than Cartier bangles or Prada hair slides
Thanks for the welcome and I’ll definitely be having a good read.
http://www.itsasmallworldafterallfamily.wordpress.com Victoria

I agree that it’s all peer pressure, but I feel bad for my children if I don’t provide something, because all their friends do and I know they’d be upset. So what I do is give one, small toy, such as a single playmobil figure, small book, or a pack of uno cards (whatever I can find cheap and in bulk in supermarket/amazon) that have some decent play value. I also give a small packet of haribo or a lollypop attached, usually spending no more than about £1.50 a child in total. That seems to cover all the bases, being a sort of party bag without involving large amounts of expensive tat. They already understand why I don’t put it in an actual bag. I know it’s peer pressure, but I would feel mean leaving them out of the whole thing completely.
http://supplyanddemands.blogspot.com/ katherine

Hi
The charity thing is such a good idea. Every year I make up endless party bags…seem to spend a fortune and plastic rubbish, knowing full well it’s going to end up broken or in the bin! Now I’ve started to collect the bits and bobs that my kids have picked up from various parties and, being very creative with my recycling, I’ve been shoving them in party bags from our parties. No one knows and each bag is…ahem…unique!
http://www.parentdish.co.uk Joanne Mallon

Thanks for the link Linda. Your girls are old enough to understand your feelings on party bags, but try explaining to a crestfallen five year old, I don’t think he’d take it very well.
I still maintain that the anti-party bag brigade are making the party more about them and less about the children. I will carry on dishing out a book with a choccy bar sellotaped to it and not be put off.
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

..yes I can see all points of view but I do think if you have laid on an excellent party you shouldn’t feel under pressure to provide yet more treats…
http://gritsday.blogspot.com grit

good grief! here’s another pressure we’re glad to be out of! we don’t have this culture at all. for group parties it is likely each family brings something to share, like a tray of cakes, biscuits or fruit. i guess it depends what culture you’re in, as to whether you feel pressurised into it or bad about not doing it… but if you are, be bold and do something different!
http://www.havealovelytime.com Linda

Hi Grit – thanks for commenting, sounds a great approach to a party if you ask me…
Christine

I thought party bags were about bribing the children to go home – encourage them to leave at the right time. Seems a reasonable idea to me. But they should be a token only – a piece of cake (which mum usually eats), a sweet and a very small gift. Brown paper bags, illustrated by birthday child are good alternative to plastic. Should there also be a limit on cost of birthday gifts at parties?